Update Finally

Sunset Blvd

So there's been a big gap since I last wrote. After our stop in San Francisco we headed to LA ended up there much longer than anticipated because of an editing job I had. I also got the chance to do some sets at the Comedy Store while we were there.
Then it was Vegas for two days where we stayed in the giant black Pyramid hotel called the Luxor. It looks like it came straight out of an 80's sci-fi flick and smelled a bit like one to. Vegas was not as big and bright as I'd always imagined. I think the struggling economy really shows in Vegas as there are just not as many people throwing their money around. The Luxor itself felt like a dying old castle, once glorious, but far too large to maintain it's opulence. We went to see a Chris Angel show in the hotel because it was cheap. Man did he phone in that show. He actually used bright lights and flash bulbs to temporarily blind you while he made the switch to another place. Once we were all done wiping our eyes and saw Chris Angel 'appear' somewhere else, I can't say I was mesmerized.

From Vegas to the Grand Canyon. We camped just outside and then made our way into the Canyon the next day. The GC is something that everyone should witness at least once. I'm planning on heading back to trip down into it for sure.
As soon as we started to leave the Canyon a red warning light started to flash on the car indicating that our engine coolant was dangerously low. So we stopped for an hour, re-filled the thing and kept on driving. As we headed outside of Grand Canyon territory into Flagstaff, AZ, the car started making a heavy scraping sound whenever we applied the breaks. We missed the auto shop by a few minutes so ended up going to see the 'Nightmare on Elm Street' re-make, (not as good as the original, but look out for Micro Naps!) and tried to sleep in the car in the Harkin Theatre Parking Lot, but the security guard woke us up, so we ended up parking right outside the Sears Auto Shop and sleeping there.
I-40 Closure. You can see the dust storm in the distance.

A day in Flagstaff, and $360 later, we have new front brake pads and rotors, and head off on the I-40 to trek into New Orleans, with a stop in Santa Fe. Only 20min along the I-40 East and they end up closing the Interstate due to high winds. Back in Flagstaff to re-route, end up driving through some amazing AZ countryside, see some Elk.
Once in Texas the low coolant light came on again, only sooner than before. Basically our little coolant leak has turned into a big one, and by the time we were heading into Texas, I was stopping every 30 miles to completely refill it. After a 21hour drive from the middle of Texas into New Orleans Louisiana, and several gallons of anti-freeze later, we are finally in The Big Easy. The car is in the shop to see if it's worth fixing, and we're in the French Quarter. This city is amazing. Last night, even on a Monday, there were countless live bands playing, people smoking inside and you can drink on the street.
Booze is so cheap in this country. We bought a 12 of Pabst for $7.50, I think that's almost too cheap. That is just begging everyone to become alcoholics.
Not worrying about the car too much right now. We'll find our tomorrow if it's worth fixing, or if our beloved Saturn will be put to rest in New Orleans.
Sorry for 10 day delay in the blog. It's been a lot of driving and sleeping, but I'm going to make an effort to pick up the frequency again. There's definitely some more stories to tell. Like the Jewelery salesman in San Francisco who tried to up-sell so much, that it went beyond salesmanship and bordered on some kind of social disorder. More on that soon.

Louisiana Sunrise

San Francisco Part 2

Our final day in San Francisco we woke up from night filled with sushi and pitchers of Sapporo, more on that later. Sly wanted to check out Lombard, 'The Crookedest Street in San Francisco', so we passed by there on the way back to Fisherman's Wharf, this was our second time there because we're both fiends for seafood and they serve it fresh from the ocean. We also wanted to go to the Musee Mecannique for a second time because we're also both huge dorks and wanted to take more photos of the old coin-op machines with the new 50mm lens we bought. The 50mm is good for low light and has a narrow depth of field to make for some great looking portrait shots. The Musee Mechannique was just a bonus we had no idea existed. It's basically a massive collection of different old coin operated machines. A lot of them were definitely not kids' games. You had mechanical baseball, saloon shootouts and Pixieland. But then there was also machines like 'Opium Den' or 'English Execution', the first one is basically a mechanical 60 seconds in the life of an Opium Den, complete with dealers, smack addicts, dragons and the angel of death. The english execution showed a prison facade and when you insert a quarter the doors open up to reveal a hooded man about to be hanged. A priests raises his arms up and down several times and then a trap door opens up and the dude hangs! Fun for the whole family! There was also a bunch of the original peep show booths like 'See what the Belly Dancer Does On Her Day Off', where you look into a old box with a viewfinder to see old black and white photos of nearly nude women posing with ukuleles. This stuff used to turn people on. Oh how times have changed. I wonder what a chap from the 1920's would think if he looked into the viewer and saw '2 girls 1 cup'. I'm guessing it would break his brain.

Picked up some 'Victoria Bitters' beer from Ghirardelli Square. It's this Australian beer that my brother in law Brian begged me to pick up. Apparently this Cellar 360 is the only place that sells it on the continent.
For our last night, we went to Ryoki, the sushi place that had been highly recommended, and as soon as we walked in there was a line all the way up the stairs, already a good sign.
As we're waiting, these two guys in front of us, do the San Francisco thing by making friendly remarks & asking us where we're from etc.
They get called to their table, wish us a good rest of our trip, and disappear into the back. Minutes later, the Japanese hostess approaches Sylvana and I, and tells us that the guys who were in front of us are very special customers and have invited us to sit in the blue room in the back with us. So we did.
After four pitchers of Sapporo, three shots of Sake, and some of the best fish I've ever tasted, we crawl out from the back room of Ryoki, having closed the place, and our new friends Chris and Jesus, have apparently taken care of everything. The kindness of strangers is always refreshing, and even more so when it involves your favorite food and a bunch of booze. Thanks for making our last night in San Francisco so delicious, drunk and hilarious.
Was up at the San Jose Improv Wednesday night for "Big Al's Big Ass Comedy Show". Great looking stage, room, and the audience couldn't have been more game for a show. After the show, we went to a nightclub called 'Toons' around the corner. The place was like any nightclub; loud music, coloured lights, and lots of people that I'm afraid of. I had shared a 'cigarette' with the generous Improv manager, Justin, so my fear of most people in nightclubs only increased after our trip from the parking lot. That was until this 40yr old couple, who arrived from 1982 via time machine, came into the bar and started dancing. These two came out of nowhere, and somehow the sight of them made me feel that as long as they were there busting a move, nothing dangerous was going to happen to me. Pretty soon BIg Al, and Justin left the bar, and finally, when the 80's guardian angel couple made their exit, I was no longer safe, so Sylvana and I headed towards LA.

San Francisco!

Hey! So the Sylvana and I have been in San Francisco since Saturday night, and holy ballsack this place is nice. We weren't in the city for more than a few hours and it is ridiculous how pleasant and altogether human the people of San Francisco are. I'm not exaggerating when I say that several times a day, Sylvana and I will be walking down the street and have people coming the opposite way, make eye contact and just say 'hello' with a smile. Of course there's unpleasant people, like late last night Sylvana and I were wandering the streets, looking for something to eat and when I asked one drunk dude if he knew where we could grab some grub, he just brought me in lovingly for a hug and gently whispered in my ear "Just f**k a bitch in the ass". Sylvana assumed he was just hugging me so was actually going "Awwwww," when he did it, which only made the guy very confused at how receptive she was to his misogyny.
Yesterday I was lying on the street, to take a photo of a pigeon lying on the street, (that sentence is confusing I know, but we were both lying there...pigeon photos to come!) and these two thugged out guys, walking in full intimidating gansta swing, walked completely around, avoiding my shot.
My pal Darryl Lenox put in a good word for me at Punch Line comedy club here so I was able to do a spot there Sunday night. There were over 30 comics hanging around, or waiting to get on the show, so I got to meet some local SF comedians and find out about more stages. Another comic on the show, 'Big Al' runs a great room every Monday called Live At The Deluxe.
The bar has been around since the 30's, and the beers were $3. After that show Al offered me a spot at 'The Improv' in San Jose tomorrow night, so we'll be taking a quick stop there before heading to LA for a few days.
Sunday during the day we went to the 'How Weird' street fair on Howard St. (get it?). The bartender in our Hotel told us that nakedness is where the weirdness starts. We were greeted at the gate by some of the organizers, one of which was asking us "Are you ready to get crazy? Are you guys ready to get weird? Anything goes in there. There's already been a groping, and a guy kicked his dog. Anything goes."
A guy kicked his dog? Does that really count as weird? I kinda feel like kicking your dog is just simply shitty and aggressive, I don't find anything weird about it at all. Once we got into the closed off section of Howard St. there wasn't much. A couple of Dj booths playing house/techno music and several people dressed up in various costumes. I was kind of hoping for some real San Francisco weirdness, but there was nary a groping or a dog kicking to be found. I'm sure the Pride Parade would be the real street party to check out.
This city is damn beautiful. Yesterday we walked through Golden Gate Park and saw some Canada Geese, among many other more colourful coastal birds that I've never seen before. The park is giant and easy to get lost in. At one point we noticed an ornate Japanese enclosure I. I started goofing off for Sylvana (it's kind of a thing I do) around the Japanese Tea Garden, and then began to walk on with her deeper along the path. About a half mile away I realized I'd left my bag (with the only set of car keys we have) back at the Tea Garden. I bolted back to the area and found my bag right where I had left it. Puffing and panting a man was walking his dog and remarked how great it was that the bag was still there. He then said something that I didn't really get until now. He told me that what happened is called 'Presence of Mind'. Not really getting it, but realizing that as a San Franciscan, he is a zen master and there must be something deeper behind what he said. So I did what anyone seeking spiritual answers does nowadays, I googled it, and Bam! Presence of Mind is discussed by the philosopher Alan Watts as being fully aware of what you are doing in that moment. Now you would think that if you had the presence of mind, you would not forget something as important as a bag containing the keys to your sole transport only 15% into your month and a half road trip, but you'd be wrong. Presence of mind means that you're so aware of what you are doing that your mind cannot possibly be aware of other things (like my bag lying under a table). So take that Mom, Dad, and Teacher! I'm not absent minded, quite the opposite in fact, I just have presence of mind. Love it.

...even more photos

These photos show the drive out of the Salt Flats and into the Nevada desert. All except the first one. Which is...as you can see. A tiny dog riding on the back of a dude's motorcycle on the I-80 just an hour outside of San Francisco.

More photos!

For some reason there's a Hampton Suites right in the middle of the desert. The 2nd photo is a good look at the stretch of I-80 across Wyoming. The 3rd is our campsite in the middle of downtown Salt Lake City. Then outside of Salt Lake is the Salt Flats. Basically a vast desert with an inch thick layer of salt over mud. When you check it out on Google earth it just shows up as a massive white patch. More photos on the way...

Photos!

Having some trouble with uploading a facebook album. So the following posts will be a series of a few picks we've taken along the way. From top left to right, going down, there the Dunes in Indiana on our first day out. Then there's the Iowa Sunset. After that there's Iowa cornfields, which pretty much sums up our entire experience and view driving through Iowa. Then we hit a major snowstorm for about 30min in Wyoming, followed by desert. To be continued....

The 24hr Trek

First I want to talk about our little road warrior. Our mode of transportation across America is a beige '97 Saturn with 275,000 kilometres on it, and no AC. Oh yeah...it also has a small engine oil and coolant leak. It also doesn't really like to start right after it's been driving for awhile, which has made it actually much more exciting as every time the engine starts it's like winning the lottery. As long as we keep up on the oil and collant I have full confidence that it's going to take us the rest of the way, but if it doesn't, Sly and I are ready for that to be part of the adventure. I hope it does take us all the way as I'm already growing quite fond of the little guy.
Onto to the trip. We spent Tuesday in Chicago, walking all through downtown. I had no idea Chicago had canals and drawbridges throughout it, which makes for a beautiful looking town, and as I said in my last entry, the place is spotless and full of flowers everywhere, nice touch.
We dropped off Derick at the O'Hare airport for his flight Wednesday morning to NY, then stopped to fill up on gas and check all the car's fluids again. Then the big trek began. We headed out of Chicago onto Interstate 80 at 12pm Wednesday and made it into Salt Lake City Thursday at 2:30pm (Google Map those cities and you'll see what I mean).
Sylvana took the first 10 hours out of Illinois and through Iowa. There isn't much to see along the I-80 but cornfields. As one gas station attendant explained "Iowa's a corn state" and it most certainly is. We stopped in Kearney, Nebraska to eat and then I started to drive. It was dark during Nebraska, so I can't really tell you what it looks like.
I began to drive through Nebraska into Wyoming, which is when a Tumbleweed (yes...a Tumbleweed!) rolled by. It was dark, but I could make out some large rocky hills to contrast the flat cornfields of Iowa and Nebraska. I started to get drowsy so we pulled over at a truck stop around 4:30am Thursday morning, filled up on gas and fell asleep. 7am we wake up and head out on the road again, only one difference, the sunny fields of Iowa have been replaced by the cold, overcast mountain range of Wyoming.
I've ever seen anything like this except in Westerns. As we headed past Cheyenne and up into the mountains just before a town called Laramie we ran into some unexpected weather...snow! Not just a little snow, I'm talking road covering, white-out blinding snow. At one point the Windshield wipers were getting covered in ice and not working as the snow blasted out window and large transport trucks were passing up, splashing up fresh slush to completely blind us while driving on snowy roads, and of course we don't have snow tires on. This insanity and near death experience only lasted about 30min until we drove past Laramie and into lower elevation, where the sun was out and the weather was warm again.
Through Wyoming the desert mountains were beautiful, until we entered Utah, and then I realized how much the mountains in Wyoming were total wussies in comparison. Utah mountains are massive and absolutely magnificent. I won't try to describe them any further, and will allow a photo blog which I'll post soon to show it.
Although we've been moving constantly there has been some interesting people along the way already. In Wyoming, I forgot to flush and a weathered and lanky old guy asked "Don't you flush" I went back in the stall and made some lame excuse about how it wasn't working before, flushed it, and then the guy looked at me and said "Won't it be nice when we don't have to worry about this anymore, when we're up in heaven. Won't it be wonderful?" I said, "Yeah it sure will." Which I think was the best way to answer. Somehow saying "No, heaven doesn't exist, and this life is all we have so enjoy it while you can...and I'll remember to flush", wouldn't have been the smartest move while stuck with him in a Wyoming gas station bathroom.
Now in Sunny Salt Lake City, just writing this in a Starbucks. Sylvana loves the people here, she says it reminds her of Whistler, B.C. including the friendly laid back people. She also saw a T-shirt that said "SLUT" , which actually stands for Salt Lake city Utah. We camped out at a KOA campground last night, which we didn't realize is right downtown. So we basically set up a tent on a "campsite" with a fence being the only thing blocking us from a city street, with people walking their dogs, going to work, etc. It was hilarious, it got so cold at night that after 4 hours of shaking, Sylvana declared it the "worst night of my life", but in true Sylvana fashion, she was still laughing the whole time. There's plenty more to talk about, but we're going to hit the road again. I'll have some photos up in the next few days to go along with the stories. Except for the guy in the bathroom talking about heaven, I don't have any photos of him.

Road Trip

So we took to the road Monday morning from Toronto. Stopped in London, Ont for a few hours and then headed out to Chicago. We got stopped at the border, basically the border patrol wanted to know we we're going to go back to Canada. Luckily my mom printed out a CAA triptik which showed where we were roughly planning on going or we would have been screwed.
Right through Detroit, across Michigan and finally stopping that night at the Indiana Dunes Visitor Center parking lot at around 11pm. First night of the road trip and we sleep in the car! The next morning we headed out to see the Indiana Dunes, and then about an hour into Chicago. Before Chicago we went through Gary, Indiana...holy fuck. This area has seen better days. It's frustrating to look at a town that once was and is no longer. Just rows of beautiful houses that have been abandoned for twenty or more years. It's frustrating to think that you could have a vibrant area full of people, and then due to the ebb and flow of 'The Market', the city can just die. I know it happens all over and all the time, but just go to Gary, Indiana, you'll see what I mean.
Into Chicago, we find a best Buy to buy a cell phone for the trip. God Bless American cell phone plans, $60 unlimited nationwide talk and int texting. We are getting screwed in Canada. Chicago is squeaky clean and full of flowers... seriously there are beds of tulips everywhere. We walked around the city all day, stopped to get some beers at 'Dick's Last Resort' which is right on the Canal. Ordered a KanaWanaLeYa (get it) which came in a Cocconut Head which we kept for $2.50. Stayed at my friend Derick Lengwenus' house with his wife Karla. Drove Derick to the Airport for his Just For Laughs audition in NY (break a leg buddy).
Stopped here at the Starbucks and about to head for a 24hour stretch from Chicago to Salt Lake City Utah. There's a lot more details, but no time, gotta head out there.
So far our '95 Saturn that leaks oil and has no AC is alive and well.
More updates soon.